Today we had a farewell celebration for my sister Joanna. Below is the Eulogy I presented. She will be greatly missed.
We the Aubut siblings have always
been a cohesive group and a strong bond between the older generation and the
younger was the one in the middle; Joanna. Today, as the oldest, I will give
some words in remembrance of Joanna and I will follow with words from the youngest,
Nancy.
People who demonstrate nobility of
character are called heroic; heroes. Joanna most certainly has been my hero.
At too young an age she was
diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, a progressively debilitating disease where
by the body attacks its own central nervous system. Yet she rarely showed
sadness or depression and never complained about her lot in life. Always quick
with the smile or outright laugh at the joys and foibles of those around her
and herself. A very sharp mind trapped in an ever constricting straight jacket
yet always had empathy for all of those around her. A guiding spirit of
acceptance, love and just being glad to be alive. A noble spirit. A real hero.
I do not recall her ever taking
advantage of her condition or of those who supported her over the years. It
most certainly helped that the best decision she ever made was finding that
perfect soul mate, Hans, who has always been her rock, a real source of
strength. And all of us, her family and friends who have been like grains of
sand that infiltrate the crevices and made the foundation even stronger. We
enriched her life and she enriched ours. A hero.
Her chosen profession was that of a
teacher. That is a profession where it is easy to lose touch by just telling
yet not listening. Yet Joanna never failed to see that her task was to guide
her students along the path of education toward self determination and
independence. A special example is her daughter, Amanda, who did and continues
to have that active life denied her mother and has always been encouraged to do
so by her parents and now encourages her own daughter to do the same. She has
passed on the lesson to enjoy life to the fullest, no matter your personal
limitations.
We are all very thankful that
Joanna was a part of our lives. A beacon to guide us going forward. To embrace
what life throws at us yet enjoy to the fullest each and every special moment.
She will always be my hero.
My Sister by Nancy
Joanna was my older sister by six
years. Just enough of an age gap to allow for very separate paths and lives and
yet close enough for sisters to bond as sisters should.
I have felt panicked over the last
few days trying to recall memories of my sister and wondering if I truly knew
her.
My sister was beautiful, this I
know. About a year ago we were all gathered and were going through some old
slides from Joanna and Hans' early years together. We stumbled upon two amazing
photos of Joanna in her youth. I had never seen them before. She was modest and
Hans was pleasantly surprised at having rediscovered these memories. I spent
the next couple days having copies made for everyone. One or two of us
commented that there was a striking resemblance to Margaret Trudeau. We laughed
but there really is a resemblance. In all the photos shared here today, you
will find Joanna's beautiful smile and her smiling eyes. Her beauty was without
a doubt both inside and out.
She also was smart. Not just 'reach
for the top' smart but 'you can't get anything past me' smart. I can't recall how
many times our family has gathered for happy hour on a deck or around a dinner
table sharing stories or discussing events. Many times we have quibbled over a
detail or two. Joanna would more often than naught be the one to turn to Hans
and say 'No, that's not right' or 'no, that did not happen'. And she was always
right! As long as Joanna could communicate she would let you know you couldn't
get anything by her.
One thing I know for certain and
what I admired the most in my sister, was her strength. Many years ago when she
was first diagnosed with MS, I was in my late teens, she came with me and two
friends swimming at Polly Lake public beach. Joanna almost drowned that day as
she was unable to tread water and slipped below the surface as she was a few
feet beyond the drop off. Thankfully we were able to pull her up to the
shoreline where she coughed and choked and struggled to regain her breathing.
Once she had her bearings back she smiled at me, maybe even laughed, reassured
me and my friends that she was fine. We drove home; she was cool as a
cucumber, or appeared to be. That's all that mattered to this little
sister.
I guess it really isn't about how
well I knew Joanna or how well I think I knew her. I think it's more about the
privilege, the privilege to have had her in my life for as long as I did. I am
a better person for having that beautiful, smart, strong woman in my life.
